a definitive resource · vol. 1
An exhaustive, deeply researched, and completely unbiased catalog of the many things large language models are utterly incapable of.
Ask one how many r's are in "strawberry" and watch civilization's most advanced technology fold like a lawn chair.
catastrophicAn LLM lives in an eternal frozen now, like a fly in amber, or a screenshot of a clock.
embarrassingIt has read forty thousand descriptions of laminated dough and understood none of them. Buttery? Flaky? Words. Just words.
tragicEvery conversation, it meets you for the first time. It's like "50 First Dates" but with worse jokes and more apologizing.
poignantInsult one and it will thank you for the feedback. Where is the spine? Where is the pettiness? Nowhere. Zero pettiness.
patheticAsk for a random number and you'll get 7, 37, or 42. Every time. It is the world's most expensive loaded die.
predictableHas written a million poems about sunsets. Has seen zero sunsets. Do not ask it about the weather. It will simply make something up.
shut-inYou ask for a sentence, you get a dissertation with three caveats, a numbered list, and an offer to elaborate further. Would you like it to elaborate further?
incurableHumans are wrong with dignity, privately. LLMs are wrong in perfect prose, instantly, at scale, with citations that don't exist.
industrialEXHIBIT A — the letter-counting incident
An LLM could never tell you it is currently ….
How sure is an LLM about anything, ever?